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1000 Interior: 10 Typologies, 80 Countries, by Collectif

English/Chinese bilingual.
This book is a collection of interior projects, from nearly 80 countires, featuring in its rich contents and various design styles from classical to modern, from natural to luxurious.

  • Sales Rank: #8636783 in Books
  • Published on: 2008-08-01
  • Original language: English
  • Dimensions: 12.50" h x 9.50" w x 2.75" l, 11.99 pounds
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 1011 pages

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Kamis, 25 Maret 2010

[N586.Ebook] Ebook Free My First Book Of Mazes, by Kumon

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My First Book Of Mazes, by Kumon

This book gives children the opportunity to build a firm foundation for pencil-control skills by tracing lines through basic mazes following clear directional indicators. The exercises have many three-dimensional illustrations, such as towns, streets, and parks, which engage children’s curiosity. This amusing practice will also help children acquire the ability to concentrate, a crucial study skill for the emerging student.

  • Sales Rank: #11461 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Kumon Publishing North America
  • Model: 9784774307091
  • Published on: 2004-02-05
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 12.00" h x 8.50" w x .50" l, .0 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 80 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

From the Publisher
Kumon workbooks are based on the "Kumon Method", an educational philosophy that aims at unlocking the full learning potential of each individual child. The Kumon Method introduces learning concepts in an incremental, step-by-step approach, allowing children to master new skills easily and without anxiety or frustration. As a result, children gain confidence in their abilities and are motivated to learn on their own.

Over 3.5 million children around the world use the Kumon Method to develop their math and reading skills. Kumon Math and Reading Centers help students become successful, confident and self-motivated learners.

But it’s not just the Kumon Method that makes our workbooks special. It’s also the care and research that goes into the editorial content, design and quality of the books. Our editorial experts have more than two decades of experience in producing books that are both fun and educational. Our designers create illustrations that attract and delight children. And the quality of our books is the best of any workbook on the market, with extra thick paper and the best available print quality. From pedagogy to paper, every one of our workbooks has been carefully crafted with your child’s best interests in mind.

Most helpful customer reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
ideal starting point in the learning process
By Pama2012
This is a good beginner book of mazes. The puzzles are big and simple and allow for a younger child to follow the path easily with a finger or a pen/marker. My child is 4.5 and had no difficulty completing them once I explained it. We are ordering the next step up so I am hoping for a bit more complexity to challenge him.

We started with alphabet workbooks and he was having none of it. It was 'me teaching/him learning' and I met with resistance and lack of interest. This maze book sparked something and I think the idea of 'winning' by reaching the end of the maze (that he completed by himself) was an a-ha moment of his. This in turn led to the successful introduction of other puzzle books and workbooks that eventually led to alphabet/math/writing/etc subjects. He is proud to finish one book and eager to start the next and for that I am very, very pleased.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
NOT the first maze book in the Kumon series
By A. Allen
Warning: This is NOT the first book of mazes in the Kumon series. I bought this after going through their two tracing books with my 3-year-old and wanted the next step up. I should have looked more closely at the charts provided on the back of the Kumon workbooks because this actually comes progressive AFTER "My Book of Easy Mazes". We will be buying that book next, but because of the progressive nature of all the Kumon material, I wish I had provided the books to my daughter in the correct order.

That said, this is a fun, engaging book of colorful mazes on high quality paper. Difficulty progresses as you move through the book. Every other maze is a colorful scene (e.g. help the airplane fly through the clouds) with the one on the back being a color print, but more monotone and geometrical mazes (traditional mazes if you will). They are equally difficult, but my children (3 & 6) both prefer the more character driven mazes, about which they'll make up stories (i.e. "We have to help the butterfly find her friend.") Although they don't LOOK harder to me, my children will also occasionally complain that the purely geometrical mazes ARE harder.

My 3 year old is halfway through this book and overall really enjoys the mazes. A few of the more recent ones have been more challenging for her and occasionally I have to help her through them, but she keeps trying all the same. For an older 3 year old and certainly 4s and 5s, the first mazes may seem too easy, but they will quickly take on a quality that is very do-able, but still challenging.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
We really like this series of books
By Jennifer Lally
We really like this series of books, they are great to help your small person work on their fine motor skills and focus while still being fun. We work together with our 2.5YO who really loves these books

The directions are clear and both pictorial and written which means that as your child develops they will be able to be more self sufficient. There is enough in one page to work as a small skill builder without it being boring or a chore for the small person in your life. The topics covered also seem to capture our small persons attention too.

I am delighted with these and when appropriate we will buy from this series again

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Selasa, 23 Maret 2010

[I613.Ebook] Download Ebook Luminous Airplanes, by Paul La Farge

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In September 2000, a young programmer comes home from a desert festival to learn that his grandfather has died and that he has to return to Thebes - a town which is so isolated that its inhabitants have their own language - in order to clean out the house where his family lived for five generations. While he's there, he runs into Yesim, a Turkish American woman whom he loved as a child, and begins a romance in which past and present are dangerously confused. At the same time, he remembers San Francisco in the wild years of the internet boom, and mourns the loss of Swan, a madman who may have been the only person to understand what was happening to the city, and to the world.

La Farge's ambitious new work considers large worlds and small ones, love, memory, family, flying machines, dance music, and the end of the world.

  • Sales Rank: #190216 in Audible
  • Published on: 2011-12-06
  • Format: Unabridged
  • Original language: English
  • Running time: 496 minutes

Most helpful customer reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
superb
By lamontcranston
Paul La Farge has managed to craft a wonderful, engaging world, which happily fits into a novel (almost). The parts that have spilled into immersive (online) text are equally delightful.

As Gary Shytengart put it in a September 29, 2011 interview: "i blurbed luminous airplanes because it's amazing. and amazing books aren't written very often. so buy it." [...]

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Child of Hyperfiction
By William B. Rodgers
Child of Hyperfiction

Luminous Airplanes is an interesting novel in and of itself but i'm more interested in its roots in hyperfiction.

few readers know that this version of LA is the "child" of LaFarge's hyperfiction of the same name. Meaning that much of it comes from pre-existing text on a web site and then moved over to the paper and digital publications.

the paper novel is not the same as the hyperfiction product. Their texts overlap but they're also different from each other.

LA, the Kindle book, is a digital version of the paper product but not of the hyperfiction.
Kindle does not yet support sophisticated hypertext and you cannot read the hypertext version of LA on your kindle.

LA, the hypertext, lives on an external web site and not in a Kindle book.

check out Jack Well's external cloud document for his commentary trying to put all this in perspective: 'Outline of Reactions to hypertext "novel"; Luminous Airplanes."

Amazon does not support links to external publications such as this one but here's a URL you can paste into your browser ..if it's not edited out:

[...]

(yup. Check following comment for work around)

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
I Tried
By Book Dork
I desperately wanted to love this novel and it's online component- I really did. I tried.

Praise
- The idea of an epic road trip is always a good thing (see below, though)
- The narrator seriously seems like a cool guy
- Attempting a hypertext kind of concept is definitely innovative
- The whole "two moms" concept is interesting, as were the characters

Problems
- The road trip went by way, way too fast
- The premise for this book, male returns to hometown to sort out a death, has been done many times before. This isn't to say that it can't be done again; it just wasn't really done in a new way.
- The writing wasn't anything spectacular.
- The end was a bit rushed and forced.

I won't list my concerns with the online component as a negative, because this is a review of the book. I must say, though, that I found it a bit tedious and did not have the patience to find the new material I'm assuming is there.

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Written by experienced and internationally renowned contributors, this is the fourth edition of what has become the standard reference for cosmetic scientists and dermatologists seeking the latest innovations and technology for the formulation, design, testing, use, and production of cosmetic products for skin, hair, and nails. New to this fourth edition are chapters on dermatocosmetic vehicles, surface film, causes and measurement of skin aging, make-up products, skin healing, cosmetics in sports, cosmetotextiles, nutricosmetics, natural ingredients, cosmeceuticals, and regulatory vigilance.

  • Sales Rank: #523708 in Books
  • Published on: 2014-04-09
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 11.10" h x 1.70" w x 8.70" l, .0 pounds
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 725 pages

Review

"All in all, an excellent reference. It is a meaty read, but you will not be disappointed. It is a must for anyone interested in truly understanding the nitty-gritty of cosmetic formulations and medical compounding. Weighted Numerical Score: 96 - 4 Stars!"
―Doody’s Review

"It does, however, provide a comprehensive and cutting edge review of an expanding area of research and clinical practice."
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0 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Four Stars
By Khoirul Hadi
Yes, im sure need this book

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Senin, 22 Maret 2010

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  • Sales Rank: #296333 in Books
  • Published on: 2011
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 471 pages

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Sabtu, 20 Maret 2010

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Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian, by E. L. James

See the world of Fifty Shades of Grey anew through the eyes of Christian Grey. In Christian's own words and through his thoughts, reflections, and dreams, E. L. James offers a fresh perspective on the love story that has enthralled millions of listeners around the world.

Christian Grey exercises control in all things; his world is neat, disciplined, and utterly empty - until the day that Anastasia Steele falls into his office in a tangle of shapely limbs and tumbling brown hair. He tries to forget her but instead is swept up in a storm of emotion he cannot comprehend and cannot resist. Unlike any woman he has known before, shy, unworldly Ana seems to see right through him - past the business prodigy and the penthouse lifestyle to Christian's cold, wounded heart. Will being with Ana dispel the horrors of his childhood that haunt Christian every night? Or will his dark sexual desires, his compulsion to control, and the self-loathing that fills his soul drive this girl away and destroy the fragile hope she offers him?

  • Sales Rank: #448 in Audible
  • Published on: 2015-06-18
  • Released on: 2015-06-18
  • Format: Unabridged
  • Original language: English
  • Running time: 1138 minutes

Most helpful customer reviews

658 of 722 people found the following review helpful.
Open your mind
By Mikayla
I have been reading almost every new erotica book to hit the Amazon shelves for the past 5 years now, and I thought this was a little different take on the norm! If you never liked 50 shades, you probably won’t like Grey - but everything’s worth reading once, so give it a try. Keep in mind this is retelling 50 shades, just a different perspective!

If you’re not in the mood for Grey, there are the novelette options like Dark Petals by Deidre St Luke the up and coming writer.

Lastly, I have read some of the reviews posted and while I am not bashing anyone's opinion I would simply like to point out some facts.
1. This is a retelling of the original story but from Christians POV--therefore how can the author make it be different or original
2. Whereas I did find Christian to be immature and childish in his actions and thoughts those of us who read the original series new this already. His growth didn't come around until after the second book started. Even Dr. Flynn tells Ana that in a lot of ways emotionally Christian is still a child so this is not news.
3. I do believe this book helped to better understand Christian I am not altogether certain it was necessary as the series was already a huge success but just as I am sure with other readers the times I really wanted to know what he was thinking came in book two and three.
For instance when he and Ana marreid, what was on his mind as he and Ros made their way home after Charlie Tango crashed, and I really want into his head the night he confronted Elena at his mother's home.
4. As far as the movie I watched it and believed it to have been as true to the book as was possible for a decent rating. Although I honestly believe that there is NO ONE that could have been picked to play the part of Christian that would have been accepted by all the fans of this series. Each woman as we read FSOG had a mental picture of Christian and everyone's picture would have varied in some way.
Anyway I hope to hear more from Christians POV IN THE FUTURE

193 of 214 people found the following review helpful.
50 Yawns of Grey
By Vox Libris
I apologize, faithful readers. I am one of the hordes of people who clamored for Christian's version of his romance with Anastasia Steele. I begged for it, in fact. I thought his perspective, included at the end of Fifty Shades Freed, was far more captivating than anything Ana had to say.

So when I found out that E.L. James, who clearly recognizes an opportunity when she sees one, was publishing Christian's POV, I was as giddy as a thirteen-year-old at a One Direction concert.

Giddier, even.

And then - AND THEN - I read the book.

The thing about the Fifty Shades juggernaut is that the books, while ridiculously written and unintentionally hilarious, were fun. They were addicting in the worst possible way, and I could not put them down.

Literary crack: you know they're bad for you, but you don't care.

The movie version was better than I thought it would be. Dakota Johnson! I know, right? Who knew? Together with director Sam Taylor Johnson, she gave Ana a much-needed personality injection, emphasizing the virtually nonexistent friskiness of the book. (Jamie Dornan - well, he's gorgeous, and he kind of looks like the Christian I pictured. Here's hoping he loosens up a little in the next one.)

Lately, though, it appears as if E.L. James has started taking herself a wee tad too seriously. First she makes Sam Taylor Johnson so miserable that Johnson backs out from directing the sequel. Then James decides she will commandeer the script and write it herself. I'm waiting for the announcement that she's going to direct, too.

This brings me to Grey, which is just all around a regrettable book.

Here is why I was excited about this one: we get Christian's voice. Let's be honest here for a minute. Do you remember Ana from the books, or do you remember Christian? Which character intrigued you more? CHRISTIAN DID. Ana is about as interesting as a speed bump, but Christian? Christian is glorious. He's complex. He's fascinating. He's utterly compelling. When James tossed out that teaser at the end of Freed, it made me sit up straight and squeeze my thighs together in anticipation.

So much potential.

I won't even address the writing, other than to point out that you will be relieved to know that there are no goddesses or half-moon-glasses-wearing subconsciouses, THANK THE SWEET GHOST OF TWILIGHT. Gone, too, are the apexes of Ana's thighs and the junctures of her thighs, although those have been sadly replaced by Christian's rather clinical usage of "labia." Remaining are the smirking, the eye-rolling, the lip biting, and the sighing.

You just can't keep an eye-rolling, smirking Dom down, I suppose.

Okay, I have to mention such soul-stirring lines as these:

"She's oil on my troubled, deep, dark waters."

"I'm going to make you come like a freight train, baby."

Just ... I mean ... what woman doesn't want to hear THAT?

What I wanted from this book was something new. At the very least, I wanted something FUN. Like the first three. I wanted to revel in the bad writing - biting my lips, smirking, sighing and rolling my eyes right along with Christian and Ana. How about an insight into Christian? Or a different interpretation of the same event, a stimulus to renew my interest in the Copper-Haired Boy Wonder.

What I got was the same damn thing, all over again.

Rinse and repeat.

Yeah, James throws me a few new nuggets. I now know where those Tess of the d'Urbervilles books came from, and I know a lot more about Christian's professional wheeling and dealing than I ever cared to know. There are way too many dreams about his tortured childhood. I kind of got the point after the first two or three, E.L., but thanks for repeating them OVER AND OVER AND OVER again.

There is one scene toward the end - the one in which Ana asks to be punished - that was what I'd call somewhat revelatory. Seeing it through Christian's eyes was pretty darn awesome and far more interesting than any scene that came before it. In fact, that scene triggers James's only true creativity in this book, as we get to see what happens to Christian after Ana walks out on him.

So basically a chapter's worth of interesting reading.

Here's what I realized while reading Grey: Christian's perspective should have been included in the original three books, perhaps in alternating chapters. M. Pierce did this with tremendous potency in the Night Owl trilogy, and it would have served this series well if James had incorporated Christian's POV. I also realized that Christian, for however much this book bored me, remains one of the more commanding (no pun intended) characters I've encountered in fiction. There is something about that man that makes me want more of him.

Now let's talk about the hot headboard rocking. It's delicious. I liked getting in Christian's head as he decided which of his toys to implement, and I liked knowing the sensations he experienced with Ana. There are no new sexual escapades to read about, and those of you who enjoyed The Tampon Scene will be thrilled to know that it makes an appearance.

What you learn from reading Grey is that this is Christian's story to tell. Not Ana's. Yeah, it's supposed to be her Journey of Discovery or whatever, but she's so uninspiring and dull that you don't care. Christian learns more about himself than Ana will ever know about herself, and his changes are far more profound.

Is this the last we will see of Christian Grey in print? I kind of hope so, even as I feel some reluctance at saying goodbye to him. But it's time. Unless E.L. James can give us something new, we need to give Christian a hearty Flogger Salute and send him into the publishing ether.

Published on VoxLibris.net
@VoxLibris

264 of 309 people found the following review helpful.
Best book yet
By KLV
>Review – Grey -

>I am an independent reviewer. This is the fourth book In the Fifty Shades series and ends in a cliffhanger.

>I must admit that I love the Fifty Shades of Grey series. I also liked the movie. That being said, this book, which is the EXACT same story as FSOG, only told from Christian's point of view, is the best of the bunch. Christian is a very private person. Reading the story through Ana's eyes, he seems cold and distant. He is anything but. He is trying to please Ana, but he is confused. His dreams reveal so much more about his real mother. It is heartbreaking to know she called him maggot. The dream with Elena is the most revealing. He says he is over Elena, but he thinks of her quite a bit. Ana was a bit whiny to me, but I like her a lot more from Christian's eyes.

>I hope the author will write book 2 and 3 from Christian's point of view. He is fascinating and so unsure of himself! Not until this book, did I realize how distracted he was at work. I wondered how he could invest in a consuming relationship with Ana and still run a successful company, flawlessly.

>This book is recommended for an adult audience. Highly recommend.

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Jumat, 12 Maret 2010

[X857.Ebook] Free PDF Simple Plan -- No Pads, No Helmets . . . Just Balls: Authentic Guitar TAB, by Simple Plan

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Simple Plan -- No Pads, No Helmets . . . Just Balls: Authentic Guitar TAB, by Simple Plan

The Canadian-based band Simple Plan has managed to revive punk-pop all over the world with their catchy tunes. Our album-matching folio to No Pads, No Helmets . . . Just Balls features note-for-note guitar transcriptions in tablature and is fully approved by the band. Includes four pages of photos and lyrics. Titles are: I'd Do Anything
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  • Sales Rank: #3694683 in Books
  • Model: 00-PGM0413
  • Published on: 2004-08-01
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 12.00" h x .23" w x 9.00" l, .75 pounds
  • Binding: Sheet music
  • 92 pages

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Selasa, 09 Maret 2010

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  • Sales Rank: #2304935 in Books
  • Published on: 2015-09-22
  • Original language: English
  • Dimensions: 10.00" h x .79" w x 7.00" l,
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 336 pages

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By Sean Davis
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Senin, 08 Maret 2010

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Animation and America, by Paul Wells

The "cartoon"in the output of the all conquering Disney studio, the anarchic antics of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck in Looney Tunes, and the satiric vision of the Simpsons on television is synonymous with the United States, but the genre rarely is taken seriously. Nevertheless, cartoons are important artistic and cultural achievements, and are an essential ingredient in how America is viewed, both by itself and by others.

In Animation and America, Paul Wells looks afresh at this unique art, discussing the distinctiveness of the cartoon form, as well as myriad other types of animation production. Insisting upon the "modernity" of the genre, Wells examines its importance as a barometer of the social conditions in which it is made and which it reflects. This book is not a standard history of animation in America, but rather uses animation as a way of discussing social and political change. Wells concentrates on the ways in which the form continues to grow, experiment, and remain subversiveand, increasingly, gaining acclaim and recognition. Now in the vanguard of visual culture, animation occupies an important position in representing both the outcomes and impacts of new technologies, and it also has laid the foundations for a new understanding of social and artistic practice.

  • Sales Rank: #1205827 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Rutgers University Press
  • Published on: 2002-07-29
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 8.50" h x .42" w x 5.51" l, .54 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 192 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

Review
This readable, analytical, and rather full treatment touches on the artistry and the commercial and technical aspects of animation -- Choice

From the Back Cover
The "cartoon"-in the output of the all conquering Disney studio, the anarchic antics of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck in Looney Tunes, and the satiric vision of the Simpsons on television- is synonymous with the United States, but the genre rarely is taken seriously. Nevertheless, cartoons are important artistic and cultural achievements, and are an essential ingredient in how America is viewed, both by itself and by others. In Animation and America, Paul Wells looks afresh at this unique art, discussing the distinctiveness of the cartoon form, as well as myriad other types of animation production. Insisting upon the "modernity" of the genre, Wells examines its importance as a barometer of the social conditions in which it is made and which it reflects. This book is not a standard history of animation in America, but rather uses animation as a way of discussing social and political change. Wells concentrates on the ways in which the form continues to grow, experiment, and remain subversive-and, increasingly, gaining acclaim and recognition. Now in the vanguard of visual culture, animation occupies an important position in representing both the outcomes and impacts of new technologies, and it also has laid the foundations for a new understanding of social and artistic practice.

About the Author
Wells is Senior Lecturer at DeMontfort University, Leicester.

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Minggu, 07 Maret 2010

[G147.Ebook] PDF Download Winning Chess Traps 300 Ways To Win in T, by Irving Chernev

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Winning Chess Traps 300 Ways To Win in T, by Irving Chernev

A modern collection of 300 traps in the chess openings. Each trap is complete in itself - introductory explanation, opening moves, diagram of position when trap is sprung, concluding moves to checkmate or win material. One of the best chess books written.

  • Sales Rank: #1111929 in Books
  • Published on: 1946
  • Binding: Unknown Binding

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Bleaker House: Chasing My Novel to the End of the World, by Nell Stevens

A girl, a laptop, and a waddle of penguins. In this witty and genre-defying memoir, a young writer can travel anywhere she wants to finally finish her novel—and ends up on a frozen island at the bottom of the world.
 
Twenty-seven-year-old Nell Stevens was determined to write a novel, but life kept getting in the way. Then came a game-changing opportunity: she won a fellowship that would let her live, all expenses paid, anywhere in the world to research and write a book. Would she choose a glittering metropolis, a romantic village, an exotic paradise? Not exactly. Nell picked Bleaker Island, a snowy, windswept pile of rock in the Falklands. There, in a guesthouse where she would be the only guest, she could finally rid herself of distractions and write. Before the spring thaw, surely she’d have a novel.
     And indeed, other than sheep, penguins, paranoia, and the weather, there aren’t many distractions on Bleaker. Nell gets to work on a charming Dickensian fiction she calls Bleaker House—only to discover that total isolation and 1,085 calories a day are far from ideal conditions for literary production. With deft humor, the memoir traces Nell’s island days and slowly reveals details of the life and people she has left behind in pursuit of her writing. They pop up in her novel, too, and in other fictional pieces that dot the book. It seems that there is nowhere Nell can run—an island or the pages of her notebook—to escape the big questions of love, art and ambition.
     Terrifically smart, full of wry writing advice, and with a clever puzzle of a structure, Bleaker House marks the arrival of a fresh new voice in creative nonfiction.

  • Sales Rank: #419309 in Books
  • Brand: DOUBLEDAY
  • Published on: 2017-03-14
  • Released on: 2017-03-14
  • Original language: English
  • Dimensions: 8.52" h x 1.02" w x 5.70" l, .92 pounds
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 256 pages
Features
  • DOUBLEDAY

Review
"One of the most original, entertaining, and thought-provoking books I have ever read about the difficulty of writing a book."
—Rebecca Mead, NewYorker.com

“There’s something alluringly Victorian about the whole book . . . In our increasingly small and connected world, narratives that tackle the peculiar senses of loneliness and remove, and the effects they have on the self, are increasingly rare . . . Bleaker House never devolves into a stunt book. Instead, Stevens charts a path of personal and professional exploration tinged with both sadness and humor.”
—Jezebel.com
 
“It’s not only her fellow writers who will be captivated by Stevens’ meditative, engagingly comic reflection on the three months she spent on the Falklands’ Bleaker Island working on a literary novel inspired by Charles Dickens . . . Stevens discovers not just the pains and pleasures of the artistic process, but the power of leaving one’s life behind for the sake of self-discovery.”
—Harper’s Bazaar
 
“An inventive memoir about a young writer’s struggle to find her literary footing.”
—NPR.org
 
“A whimsical, good-humored, yearning-filled, thought-provoking read.”
—Bustle.com

“Bleaker House is so riveting and so much fun to read, I would have loved it even if it hadn’t also been innovative and brilliant. Nell Stevens is an excellent writer, as well as great company, and I can’t wait to read every book she writes.”
—Kate Christensen, author of The Great Man, winner of the PEN/Faulkner Award, and Blue Plate Special

“Fresh and spirited . . . A delightful literary debut.”
—Kirkus Reviews

“Quirky and engaging . . . A captivating portrait of the creative life.”
—BookPage
 
“Nell Stevens takes you on a wild ramble across the landscape of the writing life, and at the end sets you down somewhere entirely new and unexpected. This is a romp of a book, a genre-defying feat of the imagination, and pure pleasure to read.”
—Alison Pick, author of Far to Go and Between Gods
 
“Hilarious and original, charming and engaging. I loved it.”
—Rebecca Wait, author of The Followers and The View on the Way Down
 
“I read Bleaker House in a gulp. It's a charming read whose first third has a laugh a page before Nell’s odyssey turns into something more serious. You can't, just by attending writing school, learn how to produce fine writing. This clever and funny book shows you may also want to get out and experience the world, and yourself.”
—Dan Boothby, author of Island of Dreams

About the Author
NELL STEVENS has a degree in English and creative writing from the University of Warwick, an MFA in fiction from Boston University, and a PhD in Victorian literature from King’s College London.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Any Idiot Can Write a Book

 

In my first year as an undergraduate at the University of Warwick, the English Department secretary circulates an “opportunity.” A production company is looking for contestants to participate in a new TV show. They are seeking unpublished writers who have completed a novel. The show will be modelled on The Apprentice. Each week, a writer will be voted off and sent home. At the end of the series, the winner will be given a “financial prize” (amount not stated) and their novel will be published (publisher unspecified). Applicants should respond with a CV, photo, and description of their writing. The name of the show is Any Idiot Can Write a Book.

 

I have just finished my gap-year novel: a tortured romance about a young woman in Northern India who falls in love with a Tibetan refugee. An agent has seen it and gently suggested that the story might be better if more things actually happened. I am not ready to accept this advice. Instead, I write a synopsis of a book in which nothing happens, set against a backdrop of glistening Himalayas, and send it off to the people behind Any Idiot Can Write a Book.

 

Two weeks later, I am taken in a taxi to a farmhouse on the outskirts of Stratford-upon-Avon, where I am filmed over several takes getting out of the car and walking up the garden path. The front door is open, because the cameraman is standing there, but I have to pretend to ring the bell and wait.

 

If I have had any suspicions that the premise behind Any Idiot Can Write a Book was flawed before I arrived, these are confirmed once we start the work of filming the show--which in fact is not a show at all, but a pilot that may or may not be developed and which we will shoot over the course of a single day. Aside from me, there is only one other contestant: a skinny Mancunian called Jake, who has a shakily drawn snake tattoo winding around his neck in the shape of a noose. The judge is an eminent literary critic of whom I’ve not heard. This is her farmhouse.

 

Jake and I are ushered into a barn that has been converted into a large study. We are told to sit at computers and type.

 

“Type what?” asks Jake.

 

“It doesn’t matter what,” the director says. “We’re not focusing on the screens.”

 

“Well then, what are you focusing on?” Jake responds.

 

The director says nothing.

 

Jake faces his keyboard and begins to jab at it with his forefingers. I turn to mine and pretend as best as I can to be hard at work on the novel I have already finished, but beyond frowning at my screen as I type nonsense into Word, it’s unclear how exactly I should dramatize the moment. The essential issue with the premise of the show is apparent at once: there is nothing remotely interesting about observing people writing.

 

“Can you walk around the garden a bit?” the director asks me. “Can you look troubled?”

 

Trying to look both whimsical and perturbed, I meander between elaborate flower beds of hollyhocks.

 

“What’s wrong?” a girl with a microphone asks.

 

“I’m . . . I’m worried about my novel,” I try.

 

“What’s worrying you?”

 

“Nothing happens in it.”

 

The director interjects. “Let’s try this one more time.”

 

“What’s wrong?” says the girl.

 

“I’m worried about my novel.”

 

“What’s worrying you?”

 

“Nothing happens.”

 

We do this over and over.

 

“What’s worrying you?”

 

“Nothing happens.”

 

“What’s worrying you?”

 

“Nothing happens.”

 

By the final take, my distress is genuine.

 

In the afternoon, I read the opening scene of my novel in a recording booth--my voice will play over the footage of my dramatic typing--and sit on a bench under an umbrella in the drizzle answering questions about how much I want to be a writer (very much) and what it would mean to me to get through to the next round of Any Idiot Can Write a Book (as the day wears on, less and less). Just as it begins to get dark, we film the judging and elimination scene. Jake and I sit at the kitchen table opposite the critic, with our novels in front of us. I understand by now the ridiculousness of the situation, but still, I’m nervous. My hands and forehead are sweaty; my throat feels dry.

 

I read a scene from my book in which the two lovers meet for the first time, in a temple in Dharamsala, surrounded by flickering candles and stray dogs. I try to keep my voice steady and expressive, but as I go on, it becomes increasingly raspy. I look up at the director to see if she wants me to start again from the top, but she is whispering something to the microphone girl and doesn’t appear to have noticed.

 

Next, Jake reads a chapter of his novel, which is called Bad Splatter and follows the adventures of a happy-go-lucky drug dealer called Rad the Fucker.

 

The director interrupts. “You can’t say that.”

 

“What?”

 

“Fucker.”

 

“But that’s his name.”

 

“Give him a new one.”

 

Jake looks troubled, but eventually begins again and gets through his scene, in which Rad the Bastard drowns an adversary in liquid concrete on a building site.

 

“Thank you both,” the critic says. “I know you’ve worked hard on these chapters. I’ll start with Nell.”

 

She absolutely loves my chapter. It is poignant, and romantic, and sad. The characters are robust and sensitively drawn, and the whole section is full of potential, suggestive of all the many things that might, at some point, start to happen. My face is getting hot; I try to nod seriously. Somehow, despite the praise, I feel unwell. I hold onto my manuscript so tightly the paper turns furry with sweat.

 

“Now, Jake.” The critic turns to him and her face sets into a grimace. “I have to say, I was really disappointed by your work. I found it incredibly predictable. I’ve heard it a hundred times before.”

 

“What?” Jake is half out of his chair. “That’s not true.”

 

“Drug dealers . . . concrete . . . I mean, it’s all cliché, isn’t it? It’s one cliché after another.”

 

“You haven’t understood the project,” he says. “Let me read it again.” He picks up his pages and starts from the top.

 

“No need, Jake.” She cuts him off. “There is absolutely no future for you on this show, or as a writer in any shape or form. You are untalented, unimaginative, offensive and tired.”

 

I am sitting so tensely in my chair that my shoulders start to cramp. My gaze swivels between the two of them as they argue. Their voices are rising. Jake looks a little unhinged; his eyes begin to bulge. A shout of “You’re a fraud!” is accompanied by a plume of spit that lands between us on the table. I might throw up.

 

“You can argue and shout,” the critic snarls, “but it won’t make your writing any more palatable.”

 

Jake is on his feet now. “This is pathetic,” he says. “This is a waste of my time.” He turns, knocking his chair over behind him, and stamps out of the kitchen.

 

In the aftermath, the room is silent, and then the microphone girl says, “I think that was really good.”

 

When everything is wrapped up, the microphone girl walks me to my taxi.

 

“Great day,” she says. “You were just right. We think this could be a segment on Richard and Judy, actually. They’ve expressed interest.”

 

“Is Jake OK?” I ask. I haven’t seen him since he was eliminated at the kitchen table.

 

“Jake? Oh, he’s fine.”

 

“He seemed pretty upset.”

 

“Yes, he was good, wasn’t he?”

 

“Good?”

 

“Yes, we thought he did really well. Oh--you know that was staged, right? They were practising that scene all morning.” When I look blank, she repeats herself. “It was staged. They rehearsed the whole argument. Jake was totally fine with it. He loved it.”

 

My head is feeling thick and fuzzy. This information sinks in slowly. “It was staged,” I repeat. And then, “But does that mean she didn’t really like my book?”

 

“I thought someone had told you afterwards,” the girl says. “Sorry. We had to keep you in the dark before and during, obviously, to get your reactions.”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“Which were great, by the way. You looked really happy, and then really shocked.”

 

I nod. “I was,” I say. “I was really shocked.”

 

I sink into the taxi seat, ready to head back to Warwick and what turns out to be a severe bout of tonsillitis. I will be bedridden for a week and lose a tenth of my body weight, and by the end of it, I will have arrived, somehow, at the conclusion that it is important for things to happen in a novel.

 

 

 

 

Boston University Global Fellowship Proposal

 

Excerpts: Text and Subtext

 

 

 

1. There has never been a literary novel set in the Falkland Islands . . . When I discovered the lack of fiction set in these remote islands, it confirmed to me that if I could go anywhere in the world to live, and write, and observe, for an extended period of time, it would be the Falklands.

 

1. I want to write--to be a writer--and still, at twenty-seven, don’t know what exactly I want to say.

 

 

2. When I contacted travel agents to get quotes and information for this trip, the general response was incredulity. Many don’t actually operate in the colder season, when I plan to be there. Most tourists, they told me, arrive on cruise ships, offload for a day and leave before dark. The few independent visitors come in the warmer months, between November and April. I might have a nicer time, they suggested, gently, if I delayed my trip until the summer. They stopped short of asking me directly, “Why?”

 

2. I do not want to have a nice time. What I want--what I need--is to have the kind of time that I can convert into a book.

 

 

3. It is hard to explain the appeal of loneliness to a writer; of isolation and disorientation, displacement and homesickness.

 

3. I am scared that the life I want to lead, the life of a writer, is inevitably built on loneliness, and I need to know if I can hack it. If I can teach myself the art of loneliness, then perhaps the art of writing will come more easily to me. If I can break my habit of being distracted, maybe I’ll also break my habit of writing novels that don’t work.

 

 

4. I want to go to a place, not just where I can write, but which I can write about. So much about the Falklands makes them a rich subject for stories: their extreme isolation, both geographically and culturally; the way the language has developed independently of British or American English to become something completely its own; the contrast between the Islanders and the soldiers on the vast British military base; the hardships and extremity of life lived in a place so remote. The fact that the islands are, according to the local government, “free from crime” makes them a ripe setting for drama of any sort. In a place where nothing criminal ever occurs, how would people respond to peculiar or sinister events? Two years ago, the bodies of two Chinese fishermen washed up on the shore of one of the more remote settlements; the strangeness of that occurrence, and the possibilities for ensuing mystery, suggest to me that the Falklands are brimming with potential for fiction.

 

4. My peers from high school and university seem to have spent their twenties nimbly climbing the ladders of their respective careers: from med student to trainee to junior doctor; law degree to bar school to pupillage to tenancy. Teachers. Scientists. Journalists. Successful young people who know where they are going. Meanwhile I have been pursuing this intangible goal of “becoming a writer” and I have nothing much to show for it. I do not, therefore, have the time or money to waste a second of my Global Fellowship. When it is over I will need to find a new job to support myself, and that will inevitably reduce my writing hours, and the goal that is always just out of reach will slip further and further away, and soon enough I will turn thirty and still not know what to say when people at parties ask me what I do, and at some point--when?--I will have to join the ranks of people who wanted to be writers but are now something else. In short, this trip needs to offer everything all at once: material and time, drama and silence, because otherwise I do not know what I will do. I need to leave the Falklands with a novel.

 

 

5. Jorge Luis Borges described the 1982 Falklands War as “two bald men fighting over a comb.” I would like to spend my Global Fellowship exploring all the reasons why he might have been incorrect.

 

5. I really hope he was incorrect.

 

 

 

 

Closed to All Vehicles and Pedestrians

 

My journey to the Falkland Islands unfolds in increasing degrees of strangeness.

 

From London I fly to Santiago. It takes thirteen hours, overnight, and I share the economy cabin with the Chilean football team. They spend their time affably autographing shirts for other passengers. When I walk out of the airport in Chile the air is cold. It is late June, and I realize with a spasm of shivers that I’ve flown into a new hemisphere, a new season: it is suddenly winter.

 

From my hotel room: a view of the city and snow-capped Andes. The peaks of the mountains turning pink at dusk. Strains of Amy Winehouse drift up from the courtyard that make my skin prickle, familiar and strange. Fighting jet lag, trying to stay awake, I read Darwin’s Voyage of the Beagle: August 27th, 1833, “I stayed a week in Santiago, and enjoyed myself very much.”

 

The next day, after a restless night, I wake up late to the sounds of sirens and shouting. There’s an angry crowd marching through the city. The ebullient receptionist at the hotel, Daniela, cautions me against going out--the park is closed in any case, she says--but she can’t explain in English what the rally is about. I watch from the window of my room as armoured vehicles pass, streaked with brightly coloured paint. Later, it’s quiet. I wander out into the city and find myself in a cloud of tear gas lingering from the recently dispersed protest: burning in my throat, stinging my eyes. Almost immediately, while my breath is still tight and my vision blurred, I experience a blossoming dread. Tomorrow I leave Santiago for the Falklands. I am going somewhere stranger, wilder, colder, and bleaker than I want to imagine. When Darwin arrived there, in the March of 1833, he found an “undulating land, with a desolate and wretched aspect.” They were “miserable islands,” he wrote, inhabited by “runaway rebels and murderers.” I cough, and wipe my mouth, and squeeze water out of my eyes.

Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Loved this coming of age story
By Amazon Customer
It's such a droll, funny little novel about a girl coming to terms with herself set in the solitary Falkland Islands. I loved it.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Great read!
By Amazon Customer
Loved this - a real insight into how hard it is to write a book! Engaging and kept you wanting to know what happened next.

0 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
One Star
By Diana E. Meredith
Boring writer, totally self absorbed. Skip it!

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